Dear Madam President,
First, let us congratulate you for the latest accomplishment of your administration, the Republic Act 9372. It gives our organisation more means to swiftly round up our enemies and punish those who dare to destablise the government and this country. Through the Human Security Act, we can ensure stability and order. Through the Human Security Act we can finally defeat the enemies of the state and achieve peace and prosperity throughout the land. Through this new law we remind the people that there is clear and present danger from communist-terrorist elements. But the people need not fear, we are here to protect all law-abiding citizens.
Lastly, we thank you, Madam President, for making us relevant, for making us look like we actually serve a function in a time where the country has no external threats. We thank you and the Bush administration for linking the Philippines, specifically Mindanao, in the global war on terror. We thank you for giving us renewed vigour to fight these barbaric Moros and allowing us the means to keep our mansions in San Lorenzo. In return, we promise to let you keep your seat. We promise to keep fighting these dangerous elements, reminding the populace that they need us.
The Armed Forces of the Philippines
Dear Madam President,
First, let us congratulate you for the latest accomplishment of your administration, the Republic Act 9372. It gives our organisation more means to finally achieve our ultimate goal - to liberate Mindanao from the clutches of Christian Filipinos. Through the Human Security Act, we are again, enemy number one after some years of little to no media exposure. Through the Human Security Act, we are again at the forefront of the country's security agenda. Through this new law we have new justification to radicalise young Moros to join our cause. Because admittedly, Madam President, we are in dire need of new blood to revive our movement.
Lastly, we thank you, Madam President, for making us relevant, for making us look like we actually serve a function in the lives of Filipino Muslims. We thank you and the Bush administration for linking the Philippines, specifically Mindanao, in the global war on terror. This gives our group prestige which may allow us to gain support from other Islamic groups who fight for the liberation of their own lands. If you bring in any more US troops, we're certainly going to need financial and logistic support from the networks you accuse us of associating with. In return, we promise to keep shoring up our ranks to show that we are a force to contend with, reminding the populace that they need to fear us.
The Moro Islamic Liberation Front
I'm doing a lot of this today. Edited to add - a third letter has come in.
To Her Excellency President Arroyo and Her Generals,
Madam, Gentlemen, our management of the public and shaping of public opinion is so far yielding the expected results.
Your dedicated team of Spin Doctors, Linguists, Cognitive Scientists, Media Practitioners and Political Advisers inspired by the hugely successful Bush techniques
I have said before that GMA was brilliant. She survived Oakwood. She survived Hello Garci. She said she wouldn't run for President but went back on her word. Miraculously, she managed to get comelected. She survived the coup dud of February last year. Record-high numbers of journalists and activists have gone missing. Now her administration has passed the HSA into law. How in the hell could we have let this happen???
There must be a lot back-slapping and self-congratulating going on. At this point, they probably think anything is possible. So sure, let us merrily go along and live our lives shall we? Let's all move on until the proverbial excrement hits the ventilateur.
I congratulate you, Madam President, for undoubtedly hiring some of this country's best and brightest to work for your cause.