{caffeine_sparks}

i am a hierophant.

i have been told, a few hours ago, that i am destined for greatness. i still don't know whether to believe the lady who read my future through tarot and my hand writing. i never expected to be 'read' my fortune. i didn't expect or seek it.

i woke up today doing my usual stuff, prepared to leave for class, went to class and did the last lesson (faire, acheter) and gave boinks her third long exam in advance. my mom had asked me yesterday if i could drive her today to go check on her...treasure seeking. we got back here in manila around 6. when i dropped mom off the office a lady and a young man were waiting for us. i didn't mind them, i thought they were one of my mom's friends (she has many). i was about to leave, i just got my cds from mom's car, but she called me back in the office.

i went in, and the lady asked me to write my name. and so the interesting hour and a half began. she got my personality mostly right. i would say 9 out the 10 things she said was correct. she said im an air sign which means i could deliver the news or be on the radio or even be an actress. she said i had fame in my future. my mom is fond of having her fortune told and a previous teller told her one of her children would be famous worldwide. back then, i assumed of course, that it would be me. :-) well...this is the second (or is it third?) psychic who has said so.

then she said people run to me for comfort and that i carry their load. fits my personality enough. thats why i fear weak people, because when they come to me and seek my help, i cant help but...grieve for them, feel their pain for them, cry for them.

then came the interesting part. she said i was destined for something she couldn't wrap her head around. something great. she said my table would be always full and i would always have people around. she bowed her head for a second then she said, i could be a politician or an ambassador. well, she hit my aspirations on the spot. i was amazed to say the least. i looked incredulously at my mom and asked her if she said anything to the teller about me. mom said no. again, i was so astounded i was laughing. she said i would do something to change the world (in not so many words), and that i would do it through diplomacy.

im not a believer of fortunes. i've always been skeptical of them. so most of the time i was just quiet, listening to her tell me who i am, how i am and what i will be. how could she have it the nail on the spot?

she told me all the things i aspire to be. a civil servant, not just of this country but hopefully, of the world as well. and the way i would be when i've reached my so-called aspirations, just, grounded, focused, strong, determined, principled. it sounded good to my ears, and the way she described me fit my personality so well. how could she have known?

has this been sent to me as affirmation? since for some time i have been looking for signs, am i on the right path? am i headed anywhere at all? is this...a marker sent from heaven to show me the way? to guide me?

the way the teller described me fit my messianic tendencies so well. to save the world. i've felt this for some time. ever since i started college. but so what? every other idealistic college student must feel this at least once in their college life right? the question in my head has always been...how??

im not closer to finding the anwers, nor do i seek them. she said, i will be guided, and my paths will be laid down for me. she said i was an old soul, i can buy that. she said, i was reborn/sent back to earth, to do something...a mission. it sounds so much better in tagalog. "meron kang ganapin."

and so...whats the lesson from this experience? i don't know. half of me is very much skeptical. especially when she said i could be an actress bit. and all she said were positive things, things i wanted to hear. do they have a rule not to say the bad stuff? maybe so. but the other half, the spiritual one, the intuitive one, is telling me this could be one of god's signs...one of...whatever higher power's markers..guiding light. showing me to continue on my path, to trudge on..and not to give up.

so, i am a hierophant. apparently, destined to sit on a 'throne' (which is interpreted to be a high postition..somewhere) but my feet would be firmly placed on the ground, and i will wear other people's shoes. once in a while i will leave my throne to mingle with the 'people.' to experience ordinary life, to be one with those 'below' me. i am to be a peacemaker as well.

oh, and i asked (secretly) if things between me and my father would ever be fixed. the cards' answer? i deserved it.

taken from learn tarot:

Except in rare cases, every human grows and develops within a culture. We learn by living with others. The Hierophant represents such official learning, especially in groups. A Hierophant is someone who interprets secret knowledge. On Card 5 we see a religious figure in a formal church setting. He is wearing the elaborate vestments of his office. His task is to bring the two initiates into the church so they can take up their appointed roles.

Besides churches, there are schools, clubs, teams, companies, and societies. The Hierophant represents all of these because his realm is structured groups with rules and assigned roles. Such environments emphasize belief systems - facts, rules, procedures, and ritual. Members are rewarded for following conventions. They develop a group identity. The Hierophant is one of three cards that focuses on the group. (The 3 of Cups and the 3 of Pentacles are the others.)

In readings, the Hierophant often represents learning with experts or knowledgeable teachers. This card also stands for institutions and their values. The Hierophant is a symbol of the need to conform to rules or fixed situations. His appearance in a reading can show that you are struggling with a force that is not innovative, free-spirited or individual. Groups can be enriching or stifling, depending on circumstances. Sometimes we need to follow a program or embrace tradition, other times, we need to trust ourselves.