{caffeine_sparks}

if for every thought/idea worthy of writing and expressing myself i actually do put pen on paper and make tangible, in written words, my thoughts and ideas, i might've been able to produce volumes and volumes of essays. to write on almost every aspect of my life, from the personal, to the mundane, to the academic. it has always been a pursuit i find liberating in a sense. seeing the words on paper, recorded, somehow make my ideas more solid, worthy of reflection (mine). if only i could write fast enough to capture every nuance of thought.

writing is release in some ways, it also affords self-revelation of some sort, and validation from whoever the readers may be. validation in form of not just appreciation but agreement or disagreement with my ideas. i have no formal training on writing. but i have always found strength in self-expression. in this language and in the vernacular. although lately, well since high school, i have not had the opportunity to explore tagalog. i mean to, even though it will present considerable difficulty.

is writing egoistic? surely, in most aspects, it is. does it not mean, broadcasting your thoughts out there, imposing/declaring your views/beliefs to whoever might be interested enough to read? surely it is something close to exhibitionism? stripping yourself/your mind for all to see, digest?....

writing is ultimately self-validation. to count your ideas worthy of print, your thoughts sensible for publishing/for mass consumption or for consumption period. it is belief in one's ability to string words together in sequence that express meaningful ideas that communicate to readers. in my case, an attempt to look deeper within myself and find/achieve self-worth/self-awareness. that i am, in a way, extraordinary, that my thoughts, opinions, ideas mean something, are original.

is writing not an escape? escape from having to communicate with someone who could immediately respond?....

writing affords me to change my world in the smallest of ways possible. is that not the ambition of every writer? for creative/fiction writers, aside from entertaining, is there not a moral thrown in in the story somewhere? is there not an attempt to divulge some hidden lesson? to enlighten them to some truth?

is writing not preaching? who wants to be a preacher?....