I believe in signposts. While I know I craft my future, because I have a choice, there is still a part of me that feels the cosmos aligns itself once in a while to show me where to next.
I stepped out of the perfect allegory today. Almost three hours of Chris Nolan's philosophising brilliantly packaged in a multi-million dollar Hollywood summer flick. Batman's good battling with Joker's evil. Batman's order duking it out with Joker's chaos. And Harvey Dent, caught in the middle. The ordinary bloke who struggles to do good. Two-face, he is called. He has in him both the capacity to be heroic and to do harm.
I got an important call today. A call to arms. Is this it? Time to climb down my cherished Ivory Tower - where it is safe, far above the din below. From where I perch the bigger picture is clear. Goodness and order are crystal. But the reality on the ground has long been beckoning. On Monday begins the end. I am afraid reality up close might look uglier than expected. Time to test your mettle Sparks. Time to grow a pair. Butch asks me why I am scared shitless. I tell him I fear not reality. I fear myself.
On both interviews I did my best to dissuade them not to take me. In what job interview do you admit your inexperience? In what job interview do you admit knowing nothing? On feeling intimidated? On being way in over your head? And still they took me. Butch says it might be because I am young. Not quite jaded. Not yet battle-weary. Still full of bright shining light.
Stay the course Sparky. Stay the course no matter what.