much to be improved on this site. yeah, i've only started to learn a little bit about html, so people reading this blog must forgive me for...the shortcomings of this site. i intend to do something more with it when i have time. at the moment i have two papers to finish.
written on march 15, sitting at starbucks as usual. sitting here, alone with my thoughts which insist on wandering off instead of concentrating on what's in front of me, i find much dissatisfaction. with myself, as always. why can't i be happy? why do i always find something lacking, not quite right in my life? there are many things to be thankful for. but deep within, my thoughts ping-ponging in my head, there is much to be desired, much to be achieved, much left undone and i sit here, wishing i were more.
where shall i find self-satisfaction? if i keep seeking it within and yet always afraid to put thoughts into action, where shall i seek satisfaction? if i were to think less, let my other body parts work more, will i be more content? will i stop expecting so much from myself? will i stop being too self-critical? will i stop seeing myself as a failure so young? the luxury of a simpler mind. i feel almost trapped.
the luxury of wanting simpler things. the luxury of being 'shallow.' i do not like the road in which i travel. the path where i'm headed. someone, something, show me the way.