Friday, February 06, 2015
A common complaint from all the men I have loved assumes that passion cannot coexist with reason. Or where one manifests itself the other cannot. Where an issue, an argument, a point of discussion between lovers concerns affairs of the heart, I hear 'But you are so smart!' or 'Can't you be logical about this?' or 'Why are you being like this? You're doing a goddamn PhD'. As if doing a goddamn PhD automatically exempts me from exhibiting sorrow or pain, to use emotions to understand a situation, or to trust my intuition when making a decision. This irritates me to no end because these complaints I have heard create a false dichotomy, perpetuate rather ridiculous gendered stereotypes and privilege a 'thin' (rather than complex) way of being in the world.