we have different poisons of choice you and i. we choose different means to kill ourselves. some slowly, some fast. but all of us have a deathwish of some sort. some choose to wash down self-loathing with alcohol. they bathe in it to wash their sins. some light cigarettes to forget. some pop pills to cure imaginary ills.
at times the yearning for oblivion is so strong. being close to the precipice tempts us to finally let go but killing oneself is difficult. and so we kill ourselves tortuously slow.