Monday, November 08, 2004

While I was cleaning up my room this morning I found two notebooks I scribbled on when I was a kid. I thought it might be fun to post some of the stuff I wrote when I hadn't a clue about the world, including the grammatical errors and mispellings. Please be kind. :)

October 7, 1994 (I was fourteen.)

The Floor

I step on the damned floor everyday. Days of school spent in tiredness. Marble floors, hard to scrub. Gray, white and black. I stare at the floor when I get a headache that pull my spine from my head. The neverending questions hurled by the sleeping monster at the front. Quaking in melancholy and waste. Slowly burning in the seat everyone owns. The wood that splinters the backside. Rashes develop and hurt. I stick my eyes on the floor. Glaring back with ferocity unqualed for a mind blank and frustrated. Like an empty room full of cobwebs, hanging on for dear life on the cracked walls. As I scrub and clean the damned.

October 28, 1994


Is this gut wrenching feeling the ed of me yet? Like a balloon slowly squeezing the air out. I feel like I'm being squashed, then left to die. Guilt, fear, worry, all mixed in one emotion I can't name. Why is it that life is so unfair? Like an unbalanced see saw with a thousand pound horse on the other side and an ant on the other. Dominating your brain are pictures of the past. Slowly eating at your conscience like a streetchild devouring a chocolate bar. Quick as a gust of wind I find solace in the arms of death, for I just cannot stand the torment.

February 1, 1995

Tying the Shoestring

I look at my feet
Way, way down
Old, worn and stinky
Flies swarm around
Looking for the thing that smells

All airy and cool
Open to all organisms
They feast on my shoe
Rotting furthermore
But the soles aren't there

Making no marks on the Sahara
Floating, not down
Jumping up, but never down
Grasping like a drowning person
I tied the shoestring
And staggered on...

There's lots more but I'll stop at this poem. My god. Reading the things I wrote ages ago...I didn't realize I was a disturbed kid. Hehehe :)

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