Saturday, May 17, 2003

why is it that as people grow older they're stripped of all the idealism and trust they had as younger people? why does getting older mean losing trust in the innate goodness of people. if there is such a thing. why do i find it so much more difficult to make friends? because im instantly on guard for hidden intentions, because i believe, deep inside, that when someone speaks to me, they want something in return. something, that i might not be willing to give on my own terms? why is it, that at the back of my head, i feel, people are out to get something from me? and why am i so afraid?

hell, maybe because each time i give someone, and myself, a chance, i end up getting burned. does meeting a true friend mean having to go through..a hundred assholes? a hundred more screw-ups? why can't things be easier? why can't meeting new people be easier? why can't i be...easier? on other people, and myself. all these expectations.

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