Calm

Its 12h24am. I feel a need to quickly jot down these thoughts. Some things must be recorded. Being far away makes it easy to forget why I went away in the first place. Tonight I took the remote from my mom's easy grip as she lay asleep on the couch. It is for her that I went away. It is for her that I must make sure I do the best I can to succeed, to make her proud, to be able care for her in her old age. Some battles seem easier to win - big, wild, abstract fights in one's head. But seeing my mom older, less competent, more fragile can sometimes cause me the deepest of panics. She lays there tonight, her inert form at peace with her circumstance. It must be so very lonely. I must hurry. Her rescue is my salvation, her happiness a test of my mettle. Courage Sparky, Courage.